Love At First Byte
by chocolatecheesecakes
Summary: Fun with a dating website.


**As Captain of The Good Ship Ronks (The Pirate Ship Battles Forum) – I have to write a 2000 word + oneshot for Ronks every few weeks.**

**This week was 'Love at First Sight', hence the title. Enjoy your Ronks fluff, and I need more crew members, so please pop along and join! This is a Muggle AU story.**

**And review! **

Love At First Byte

"Aw, come on mate." Sirius sighed, trying to tug his friend Remus out of the doorway of the flat they shared with the other two of their quartet by the arm. " I'm sure that little piece of work can wait for a few hours."

Remus shook his head adamantly, unable to tear his gaze off his laptop – which was showing him some statistics that he needed to interpret by the next week coming. "Not tonight Sirius." He said, not feeling saddened at all. He didn't 'fit in' with his friends – well, not in the sense that Peter, Sirius or James did.

For one thing, only Remus seemed to take his college studies seriously. Hence the laptop, and his refusal to part from the work he so badly needed to do. His desk was full of piles of paper, and his sock drawer had more scrunched up paper than underwear. Sometimes he just… ran out of room to put things, and that was why his friends despaired of Remus, more than they probably should have done.

"And by that, you mean, 'not ever'." Sirius rolled his eyes – a move he had perfected back in Primary School. "Come _on _Remmie… You'll turn into a part of that bloody sofa if you never move from it."

Remus scoffed, looking up finally to glare at his friend. "Yup, and who does all the cleaning and cooking, seeing as you and James 'can't be bothered' and Peter is like a nuclear bomb to everything he touches?"

Sirius ignored Remus, instead resuming his efforts to pull Remus's arm out of its socket altogether. It certainly felt like that was his aim, as Remus swore he could hear the bones clicking. "_Please_…" He whined again. "Remus, I really _need_ to meet Mariah…"

At the mention of Sirius's 'girlfriend' (who was more like a plaything or a shag partner than anything else), Remus finally relented. Mariah was a harpy – literally digging her fingers into Sirius's flesh every time she saw him, and then attaching herself to him at the mouth with just as much vigour. But that didn't mean that Remus liked her – quite the opposite.

She was a lovely girl… But she just… Freaked him out a little, with her possessive-ness. Even James's girlfriend Lily (proper girlfriend, the kind that talks to her boyfriend's friends and is nice to them all) wasn't _that _possessive, and they had been dating for twice the time as Sirius and Mariah.

"Oh, okay." Remus sighed, knowing a lost cause when he heard one. As Sirius began to celebrate by letting go of Remus's aching arm and dancing into the kitchen, he saved the Word document, and took one last glance at the matter that was _really _keeping him glued to his laptop.

One thing that James, Sirius and Peter all knew was that Remus had once had a dating website account. Nothing had come of it, so they had abandoned the scheme rather quickly.

What they _didn't _know, was that Remus hadn't deleted his Match dot com account, and in fact he had met someone through it.

He wasn't sure of her name, even her age, because all that was on her profile was her surname - 'Tonks' – and her profile picture (a girl with bright pink hair and dark twinkling eyes).

But what he did know; is that she was _perfection_. Better than ice cream on a hot day, better than well-baked soufflé, even better than chocolate. And what was better – _she _had approached _him_.

It had started as a little 'ping' on the app, on Remus's iPhone (a gift from his parents, before he left for University). He hadn't been sure if it was a joke from James or Sirius or Peter, or whether it was genuine. But he had taken the bait, and his phone was in the palm of his hand before you could say 'jackrabbit'.

_Wotcher._

Just… 'Wotcher'. Remus had been confused, but all the same, he had messaged her back.

_Hello, I'm Remus. I take it you're Tonks?_

The reply had come not 40 seconds later.

_No, I'm the King of Sweden. Of course I'm Tonks silly ;)_

It was strange – Remus had been intrigued with 'Tonks' since the very beginning. Her profile never changed (it was still 'Tonks' and the girl with pink hair), but he started to find out tiny, almost insignificant things about her, purely through discussion.

Tonks lived with her parents somewhere in the north of England and she seemed to be maybe a year and a bit younger than Remus. She used a lot of similes (winking faces, grinning faces, smiles, exclamations…), and once she had told him that she liked to listen to 'the good ol' bands'.

And with every tiny, insignificant detail, Remus fell more and more deeply for the girl – Tonks. He waited in vain for a request to meet, even an email; hell, a text message would have sufficed - but no.

Remus sighed, and closed the window, mouse immediately going up to the browser toolbar and deleting the history. He could do without his friends finding out about his one-sided, digital romance. He heard enough from them already, and this would just make their teasing worse.

"You okay?" Sirius asked, and Remus looked up to find him casually leaning in the doorway to the kitchen, cookie crumbs around his mouth and a slightly concerned look on his face and in his eyes. "We don't have to go, you know. I'm sure Mariah won't mind if I cancel this once."

With another sigh, Remus stood up, shaking his head. One of the many, many good things about his friends was their ability to tell when he was _not _okay. And they always tried to help. But Remus knew Mariah _would _mind, and he didn't want Sirius's unhappiness on his conscience.

"It's okay." He insisted, not being true to himself as he said so. He pulled the coat on over his jumper and closed the laptop lid, before taking the gloves out of his pocket and slipping them on over his hands. "Come on then mate. We'd better get going."

oOo

The nightclub was vibrating and reverberating with the loud dub step music when Remus and Sirius entered, and Remus shuddered. Nightclubs were not a place he routinely went to, especially as they were littered with alcohol abuse, date rape drugs and just… people he didn't want to associate with. At all.

"It'll be fine!" Sirius yelled, as he showed both of their ID's to the bouncer guarding the door. "Trust me, Remus!"

"If I trusted you, I'd be scuppered." Remus said, but the sound of his voice was lost under the thump of the music. Sirius motioned for him to speak up, but then they stepped inside and he almost lost sight of his friend altogether.

It was a terrifying scene, to Remus at least. People were jostling for room left and right, muttered apologies lost in the heat of the moment as drunken men walked into people, walls and tables. Remus had to push through the crowd to keep sight of Sirius's messy black hair, and the strength needed for that was hard to come by.

He didn't notice a girl with pink hair walking his way, but he felt her when they walked right into one another, especially the headache that followed after their foreheads smacked against one another.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" The girl apologised, going red. "I'm really clumsy, I hardly know what's wrong with me sometimes!"

"It's fine, don't worry." Remus insisted, massaging his forehead where he had collided with the girl. Then he looked up, and his breath caught in his throat.

Pink hair… Dark, twinkling eyes… That _smile_…

"Are you okay?" She asked, her dark eyes widening and a brown eyebrow rising. "You look a little… I guess the appropriate word would be, bamboozled."

She let the last word float out a little, and it hung in the perfumed air between them. Remus choked on his words, not knowing what to say, before he grasped an idea, tugged and pulled. "Tonks, right?" He asked, the words coming in a flow he couldn't pause or halt.

"Yeah…" She said slowly, her brow furrowing and her teeth lightly grazing her bottom lip. "How do you know my name?"

"Remus Lupin." Remus said, hardly daring to believe his eyes. Because _here_, in a nightclub, the very last place that he would go, was _Tonks_. The girl he had been in love with since her second message on Match dot com.

The truth became vivid and clear as registration of this fact was emblazoned across Tonks's face, firstly realisation, then amazement, then, lastly, if Remus couldn't doubt it – excitement.

"OH MY GOD!" She squealed, in a girly way – but not a girly way. Yes, her exclamation was high-pitched and stereotypical of a girl, but her facial expression morphed into one of happiness, rather than deliria, like he had expected.

Her dark eyes twinkled, the nature of it magnified by the strobe lighting around them. "How many messages have we exchanged?"

"Two hundred and fifty two." Remus chanted, hardly missing a beat. Then he blushed a deep beetroot colour, realising just how precise he was. Girls didn't like that quality in a man, they liked a man for his roguish charm – like Sirius, his face – like James, or his kindness – like Peter. Not him. Remus might have been kind, but he was also smart, and not many girls liked a smart man.

"It is you!" Tonks grinned, and Remus blinked. He tried to open his mouth – to say something, anything – but nothing came out. Tonks grabbed his arm, a little like Sirius had done an hour or so earlier, and towed him to the bar. "Two Bloody Marys please!" She called to the bar man, before swinging her head to Remus.

"…Wow." Remus said, finally regaining his speech as he stared at Tonks, in her full glory. She was short, not unbearably so, but well-formed, with a curvy figure and a brilliant pearly-white smile.

"I know." She answered. "I suppose I owe you my full name now. First date and all that."

Remus found his cheeks growing warmer, especially at the mention of 'first date'. "Um…" He stuttered, wanting to look away from her but not being able to. "Is… is this…"

"Yep." Tonks said, a huge grin on her face as she took a Bloody Mary from the barman and passed it to Remus. "And…" She shuddered, taking a mouthful of the cocktail to deal with it. "My second name is Tonks, that's what I ask everyone to call me. My full name's Nymphadora Tonks."

Tonks scowled, taking a huge gulp of her Bloody Mary. Remus, on the other hand, was more contemplative. Because in front of him was, pretty much, the most beautiful, most amazing, the most of everything girl he had ever met. And if he hadn't been in love with her the moment that he clicked on her Match dot com profile and saw the photograph of the girl with pink hair and dark twinkling eyes, then he was in love with her now.

You could call it love at first sight, but it was almost _too _clichéd. But, of course, with Remus's annoying best friend not fifteen minutes later, he couldn't be left alone.

"Who is this?" Sirius said, and Remus face-palmed. "Why, had Remus finally- DORA?"

Tonks dragged her eyes away from Remus's face, and gasped, jumping up, accidently knocking over the bar stool. "Siri!" She grinned, throwing her arms around Sirius.

Remus felt sick, as he saw the girl he was unconditionally in love with and his best friend embrace like old friends or, dare he say it, old lovers. But then his fears became grossly misplaced, and Sirius jumped away from Tonks and waggled a finger at Remus.

"Gonna hook up with my cousin?" He yelled, not looking angry (but not pleased either). "Remus! I thought you knew better than to mess with me or my family!"

"What?" Remus yelled, trying to block out the sound of the music in the background. "Sirius, what did you say? She's your _cousin?!_"

Sirius nodded, his expression dropping off his face and landing on the floor. "How did you meet her anyway? You two seemed to hit it off pretty well!"

Remus tried to shrug inconspicuously, but Tonks answered before he could do much. "It's called online dating Sirius!" She smirked. "You should try it sometime!"

And as Sirius smirked at Remus, Remus tried to ignore him. Because Tonks was walking forward, scribbling something down on a sheet of slightly crumpled, grubby paper as she did. Then she handed it to him, with a wink. "If you're not as gay as I think you are-" She looked at Sirius meaningfully, who looked incredibly affronted and began to shout something about how he had a girlfriend and how dating Remus would be incest. "-Then call me. I'm not back at work until Friday."

"Um…" Remus said intelligently, staring at her. "Um…"

"See ya soon Remus!" Tonks said, with a stellar grin. Then, almost as an afterthought (but one that was planned), she reached across and pressed her lips to his cheek.

As she left, many men turned to look, but Tonks didn't glance at any of them. And she turned around to look at Remus, blowing him a kiss as she left.

"Now, come on." Sirius said, finishing up Remus's cocktail for him. "Tell me. Was this whole thing really that bad?"

Despite himself, Remus had to finally agree with Sirius on something.


End file.
